Anonymous asked: (Part 3) won't understand and I'm not super close to my parents (explaining this all to them is just not something I can do right now. we aren’t an emotional family at all.) I have trust issues in general and hate opening up to people, but I know I need to stop using escapism like this. It’s just terrifying because I don't want to stop liking vlogbrothers or tumblr etc, I don't want *everything* to go away. I don't know what to do and I don't want to get others involved but I can't do it alone.
First I want you to know that I completely understand what you are going through. I mean everything you said struck a cord.
You should set some goals for yourself and set your mind to seeing them through to the finish. Are you in high school? You could try looking at colleges and planning potential futures, and get excited about them. That way you’ll have motivation to work toward something. If you’re in college, do the same thing with internships or careers. Knowing you have something to look forward to, and working toward that end can make things feel a lot better.
As for feeling awkward in social situations, I know this feeling, where you over analyze everything you say and question yourself. Just know that if you’re with the right kind of people, you won’t have to worry about these things. Most people do the same thing and won’t even remember the things that you thought were the most embarrassing.
Just know that you are just as cool as the people who you admire, and people will be drawn to you. Confidence attracts people. And don’t worry that people will think you’re weird, we’re all weird! It sometimes takes longer to find people who can recognize and understand that weirdness, and those are the people to be around. I don’t have many friends where I go to school, but I do have a few good friends who I think are really cool and interesting. You don’t have to be crazy popular to be happy.
You don’t have to stop liking the things you like, such as vlogbrothers or tumblr, because you shouldn’t deny yourself things that make you happy. But maybe you can challenge yourself to cut back your use of the Internet, try an hour or two limit a day and see how you feel. You could replace the Internet use with something else you are passionate about, like drawing or writing or making Vlogs on YouTube. There are also several clubs and organizations you can join online, such as the Harry Potter Alliance, which is chock full of Nerdfighters, and also have tons of groups in almost every state. You could join book clubs, or do anything based in your interest groups.
As long as you are happy doing what you’re doing, you shouldn’t see it as wrong. Life is how you spend time, so spend it the way you want.
And as for someone to talk to, does your school have a counseling office? It may seem scary to open up to a person you don’t know, but they know good methods to help you manage your anxiety.
And honestly, come back here and talk any time you feel like you need to open up. I have been in the same boat several times, so I’ll always be here to talk.